These past few nights have brought an insurmountable number of absurd dreams that move so quickly it's hard to keep up with whats going on. There is one that always returns though, tucked away between the ridiculous almost as an afterthought, and every time it gets a little more graphic and unsettling.
Last night in particular was pretty bad.
I remember being incredibly thirsty so I get myself a glass of iced water and begin drinking it through a straw. It was the most refreshing water I've ever had so I continue to refill my glass and continue to drink. And then somehow I realize that I'm dreaming- that this glass of water isn't real- and I've never felt so disappointed with myself.
It changes and I'm suddenly on a balcony- I think it's the deck from my old home- that's overlooking the water. I'm fishing and so I cast my line and wait a moment. Then I notice that I've hooked something and glance down at the reel, stare at it for a moment and then pick it up to try and reel the fish in. It's a struggle but then I realize the fish is gone and when I finally reel the line completely in there is nothing but seaweed on the hook.
Then it changes and I realize that I'm in my old daycare home. Downstairs there is an exhibition going on and there are a lot of different people- students maybe- and there is someone walking them through and explaining why each piece is a good work of art. I want to join them but that's when it happens.
I feel my tooth come loose and I pull it out. There is a moment of panic and that's when I start to become lucid and tell myself that's it's not real- it's a dream and there is nothing to freak out about. But then I feel more teeth start to loosen and I rush to the bathroom and start pulling them out. And as more and more come out- and they begin to come out in layers now, prolonging the process- I begin to panic again. I thought this was a dream but it's still happening and I can't think properly because I keep pulling bits and pieces of my teeth and gums from my mouth and nothing is changing and I think to myself that this is actually happening this time.
And then the dream probably changes again but I'm too upset at this point to really pay attention. There's no sense of relief.
I've been having this teeth dream since freshman year. It comes and goes. I think that I have a handle on it and then it morphs and my subconscious seems to have the upper hand once again. I don't know what to really make of it.
